2 May 2016

internet stuff for reading enjoyment

Happy Monday friendies! I thought I would put this out on a Monday in case anyone was at work wishing they had a small distraction because Monday. I had a fun weekend in Guelph hanging out with my boyfriend and saying goodbye to my apartment 😭 Let a new chapter begin! Alright, here's some stuff from around the internet for your reading enjoyment. Cheers!

Maybe I'm using the Hindsight Bias but I feel like I already knew this was true

in a similar vein: heck. yes. more recess for everyone.

I put this book on hold at the library this week and am scared but excited to read it #moneystressesmeout

some new podcasts to try out

I made these peanut butter blondies this week and zomg they were so. good.

what happens when you have no alcohol and no caffeine for 15 months  
Removing coffee/caffeine from my diet not only made me more relaxed, I also poop like a king.
PSA for everyone to watch Bob's Burgers because it's hysterical but also supports healthy family relationships 

you success won't save you...and that's okay. For reals.

5 ways to improve your writing

solid relationship advice from someone surprising

a second PSA: You can be inspiring by just being yourself 

 Go kick this week's ass!
top photo via Unsplash

27 Apr 2016

the life changing magic of keeping your stuff

Hi friendies! Thank you to everyone who commented and texted and emailed about Saturday's post. It was a lovely reminder that even though I'm feeling down and out, I have a veritable plethora of amazing people in my life who think that I'm just fine and believe in me. What a privilege. I'm going to ride that wave while the dust from my life chaos settles down.
I am currently sitting on my mattress which is on my bedroom floor because I disassembled my bed frame last night. Tomorrow is the big Move Home. I'm...75% ready. That's a generous estimate. Why do I own so. many. dishes. I have twenty-four bowls. Twenty four. That's a lot of bowls!
I will say that I have abouttt the same amount of stuff that I did when moved to Guelph. No weirdo Life Changing Magic action over here, just the same amount of books and lip gloss and coloured pens and midnight blue bowls. I don't think I would like a gigantic purge of all my belongings. My stuff is...it's my stuff, man! You know what I mean? Certainly, I have culled the unnecessary and there's a trunk full of the aforementioned stuff heading to Value Village today (I'm looking at you terrible, useless, finger biting can opener) but on the whole, it's about the same amount as I moved in with. In a way, that's kind of comforting. It feels like there's some steadiness that made it through the past year, some undercurrent of sameness. It's nice to think about the meals I will eat on my blue bowls in my next apartment, to see my lovely books stacked on my sturdy bookshelf and to lean against a counter in a new kitchen, flipping through my cook books trying to decide what to make for dinner.
I may not have a job yet (yet is key!), I may be moving home and it certainly feels like everything about my life is dissolving and changing, but really...it's not. My dishes and photo albums and tea towels will be there when I'm ready. When the cosmic plates shift and it's time to take the next step. Whenever that is...
Really, for reals, thanks for reading. I appreciate it a lot. You guys rock. Stay awesome. Until next time, xo
photo by me

24 Apr 2016

internet stuff for reading enjoyment

Hi friendies! Happy Sunday! Is everyone still in bed? I'm knee deep in boxes and bins of...well, crap. I own way, way too much stuff for someone of my age and station. The big move home happens on Thursday and it's all a bit much right now. I hope you are having a calm, relaxing Sunday and that you get a minute to sit still and drink your coffee and listen to the sounds of your life. If you're in need of a wee bit of distraction, here's some stuff from around the internet for your reading enjoyment. Cheers!

don't worry, nobody actually knows what they're doing either

I'm re-reading this book which is part nonsense part feminism and part makes me want to eat croissants all the time

this fire station is crushing it with their message board

Hollywood's irreverence towards Melissa McCarthy is something worth thinking about

hashtag midwife goals 

how freaking delicious does this baked caramelized onion dip sound?

18 things to do with a blank notebook 

summer goal: host a Jane Austen girls night

how to give advice without saying "no" and "dont"

Feminist YA fiction curated by the New York Public Library

I liked this post about 5 small ways to make a meaningful difference

top image via Pinterest

23 Apr 2016

crying over your breakfast and other pastimes

Raise your hand if you cried over a plate of eggs, in a public place, in front of your mother this week.
Things are weird right now. It's not that things are bad, per se, but they're not what I thought they would be. During the winter of my post-break-up-over-worked-midwifery student discontent my mom generously offered to let me move home when I finished school. I gratefully accepted while secretly harbouring a belief that I would not only not be moving home but, in fact, be employed at such time.
That's not what happened.
I actually went for two job interviews and didn't get either of them. Every person who I have said this to has responded with a knowing nod and a version of chin-up-buttercup-this-is-how-employment-works. So I guess it's normal, but man oh man am I disappointed.

Last time I blogged I was headed to Toronto to write my final Ryerson exams. I was nervous not only for the exam, but also to be in a room full of other midwifery students talking about all The Jobs that they had. I can honestly say I begrudge none of them, and everyone one of my classmates that gets a job feels like a win for the group as a whole. But it was stressful. And it felt embarrassing, even though it didn't need to.
We all thought we failed the exam, but it turns out I didn't. Yay for me! That was a relief.
Okay, saying "that's a relief" is a huge understatement. When I saw my grade I think I felt every sphincter in my body unclench and I slept the first proper night of sleep in weeks. Now there remains one more exam and then, ladies and gentlemen, I will be Sydney Davis, RM.

Except that I'm an unemployed registered midwife. Who is moving back in with her parents. Midwife or not, I guess I'm still a god damn Millenial. Living. The Dream.

Two days ago I packed up my car with a load of stuff and drove from Guelph to Toronto to begin the process of moving home. Maybe that should become a proper term, Moving Home. Earlier this week I phoned to cancel my internet and when I said no, I didn't know any family or friends who would be interested in taking over my service agreement because I was moving home the woman on the other end of the phone said "you know, I've heard that quite a lot this week". Yeppp. Moving Home.
I brought this aforementioned load of stuff to my storage locker, and under the instructions of my mother, went through all the other bins of stuff belonging to me. Inside was what remains of the last decade of my life. Letters, photographs, cards and weird things that I definitely didn't need to keep like prom corsages and certificates of achievement. I spent a long time sitting on the floor reliving all the Emotional Experiences of the love of ex boyfriends, friendships that no longer exist and old sports glories. Oh and also throwing away a buttload of stuff. I don't know if I made a significant dent in the amount of detritus that I have accumulated, but it felt like I maybe made some sort of progress, energetically anyway. The next day my mom took me out for breakfast. We got our coffees and she looked expectantly asked me "so, what's new?" and then I burst into tears. The flood gates of emotions opened and I cried about all of it. The not being in school anymore, the relief of being a midwife, the embarrassment of being unemployed, the heaviness of going through all my old memories. Turns out that's a bit much for one person to contain inside themselves. So my mom graciously let me cry over my eggs and did The Mom Thing where she said "It's going to be okay" and I did The Daughter Thing and believed her.
That's what moms and daughters do.
So I'm going to live at home. I'm going to find a job. And, really, it's going to be okay.
Until next time friendies, xo

top image via Unsplash