24 Jul 2016

a weird day & internet stuff for reading enjoyment

Oh hello, blog land. Can I tell you how glad I am it is Sunday?  I had a totally weird day yesterday. Everything that happened was just off and weird and kind of unpleasant? Do you know what I mean? My parents are away and I have been thoroughly enjoying some home alone time however when I went downstairs this morning to flip my laundry the basement floor was covered in water. Saying it flooded would be super dramatic but there was definitely depths of splashable water in a lot of places. There I was, alone, barefoot, splashing around moving all the shit off the floor trying to figure out what exactly was causing The Flood while having no idea and not being at all sure how to deal with it. Midwifery school is great but teaches you nothing about how to handle lots of other Adult Things. 

Literally me. 
I called some adultier adults and got a shop vac and figured out some stuff and then on my way around the side of the house I saw that the goddamn evil racoons had a party with my garbage and the was garbage and food waste and slime all over the walk. So I had to clean that up, too. Then I drove to Guelph and had, despite the weirdness of the day, a very lovely brunch with my boyfriend who was supposed to spend the weekend at Way Home but for [redacted] reasons had to be in Guelph yesterday. After that, things went back downhill with scheduling delays, strange interactions, traffic and a complete friendship fail on my part. Driving back from Guelph I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, needing desperately to pee and feeling confused and kind of upset, and spontaneously decided to pull off and treat myself to a few hours at IKEA.

all for meeeeee

Please tell me that other people believe going to IKEA for a wander and a hot dog is a form of treating themselves. (You better believe I bought two hot dogs for myself. One is never enough is it?) I may or may not have bought new bedding, which if you didn't know, is one of my guilty pleasures and favourite things to do. I have so much bedding, please help. Then I came home and crawled into bed with a Large Bowl of Pasta, ate it all and fell promptly asleep and had weird dreams about time travel. Let us hope today is uneventful and boring, which would be a big old improvement on yesterday. 
Okay enough about the weird day. Sorry (not sorry?) for whining! I'm home alone and my boyfriend is back having fun at a music festival and just...sometimes you gotta feel your feels on the internet, yeah? In other news, please enjoy these links from around the internet, for your reading enjoyment. Have a great day, dudes.

the title of this could be (may be?) seen as controversial by some because of my vocation but damn, is this worth reading: Get The Epidural

I have been making this salad for two years and it is still so goddamn delicious (thanks, Jessica, as literally always)

saving this post for when I'm rich and own my own house (lol when I'm dead) because holy beautiful backyard


this. is. important. why being a mom is enough

did you know shifts in personality can occur but, usually over a long period of time
Many studies show that most adults become more agreeable, conscientious and emotionally resilient as they age. But these changes tend to unfold across years or decades, rather than days or weeks. Sudden, dramatic changes in personality are rare.
I literally cannot stop laughing at this 

yes, this

okay everyone needs to make this pasta sauce asap because we all deserve some time to just sit and eat damn good pasta on the couch with our wines and our netflixes. On a related note: should I start watching Stranger Things?

Be good to each other. Until next time,  xo
top photo via unsplash

19 Jul 2016


Hi friends! Welcome to...mid July?!? Are you serious? Like woah. Please allow me to use my Very Adult Voice and ask: Where is this summer going? What is everyone up to? I've spent a lot of it starting at other people's instagram feeds and playing boggle. Okay and also applying to jobs and trying to figure out how to not be an idiot at a job interview. Seriously, how come there are no classes on this in high school/university/literally any time ever? Let me tell you a little millenial secret: two degrees in a row does not make you feel well prepared for job interviews of any kind. As it turns out being competent and having a buttload of experience isn't the only thing that will get you a job (hi potential future midwifery clinics: I am very competent!) It's garbage that it took me a couple interviews to realize that I could just ask for help and learn some new skills. So that's been a fun journey (lol).  

Did you guys know that every Wednesday there's a free outdoor movie screening in the beaches? There is. You should go. Tiffany and I went last week and saw The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe, which I had apparently not seen since it's realease in theatres eleven years ago. We had a fantastic time. Not only was it not full of hipseters (heyyy east end you're great don't ever change) it was not busy and lots of people brought their well behaved dogs. Tiff and I took great delight in the following line from the movie, said menacingly by the Queen's pet dwarf: dis way for your numnums. That's right, dis way for your numnums. Please feel free to start saying this in as many situations as possible in your day to day life.

 I had some people over this weekend. I made the. tastiest. sangria. ever. I mixe white wine with some of those grapefruit radlers, added sparkling wine and because it was me making it, vodka. Hellooo! We played a lot of games. Pam brought Two Rooms and a Boom, which tbh, I still don't quite know how to play but it got us up and moving. It's a bluffing game and as all know lying to people while drunk is a very fun thing to do. Now I get to return all these empties and get my *puts on David Caruso sunglasses* $1.29. Boom. 
Okay okay, are you ready for the best part of this post? Please have a gander at this V Great New Novel I'm reading...

Yasss. On the weekend Simon and I went on an adventure to Little India to pick up these ridiculously delicious (and cheap! 3 for $1!) samosas and had to go on a walking detour because of a very fun-looking festival. I saw one of those Little Free Libraries and of course, I had to pick up the ridiculous looking romance novel. Like you wouldn't have done the same. I casually started reading it and dudes? I'm kind of hooked. To the book's credit, there was only one sex scene by the time I got to page 223...but, not to the book's credit, breasts are continually described as "glowing orbs" which has caused several instances of having to put the book down because I'm laughing so hard. Also everyone in this book has mutual orgasms at exactly the same time, Fantasy is probably a more appropriate genre than romance...

Annnnd just wanted to be cute/gross and say how awesome my boyfriend is. Here we are romantically riding the TTC to a party in between catching Pokemon (him, not me, I'm too protective of my data)

Have a good one peeps, be good to each other, xo

13 Jul 2016

Of Boggle and Bachelorette Parties

Gooood morning friends! How are you? Everyone enjoying the crippling heat we're finding ourselves in? Yesterday I took a few of my babysittees to a splash pad #welldonecityplanners and literally roasted in the sun like a turkey in an oven. Sitting still and sweating is a true gift. I'm not even tanned but at least I'm well on my way to skin cancer. In other news: I have been playing all the boggle. All of it. I bought boggle at value village like a year ago and didn't touch it until this summer when I casually suggested my boyfriend and I play as a way to pass an hour of low-key hang out time. That was the beginning and end of Casual Boggle. As it turns out, my boyfriend is a goddamn boggle champion. I have no chill about losing word games so I've made him/my mom/my mom's wife/Pam/everyone else ever play with me so I can crush. his. ass. Pam is also a Boggle fanatic and because she is cool, she has jumped on my boggle obsession train and has no problem playing constantly. She bought Big Boggle and we spent too many hours at the park playing both Regular and Big Boggle while drinking cider and feeling not in anyway pretentious or embarrassed. JSYK, the last time Jonathan and I played he only beat me by two points. Let the ruthless training continue (lol unemployment)

everyone's cup sizes are slightly different

In other other news: I went to my first ever bachelorette party. That was a whole thing. The bride-to-be is like, the most adorable human and wore the best white romper and had perfect curls and a great flower crown/veil event. I was jealous but in a very You Go Girl You're Making Us All Look Good kind of way. The lovely hostess did a 10/10 job, she even made those fantastic glitter dipped cups everyone's been looking at on pinterest for the last six years and I was like yaaassss girl. We played games, drank some hella good sangria, took V Cute group photos and, just like the movies, had a completely ridiculous romp around town, replete with penis straws. As you do.

a Very Artistic Drunk Selfie that I Absolutely Had to Take feat. Giant Forehead + a tasteful glow in the dark penis straw

Who is excited about the new Ghostbusters movie?! We all need to go see it so it can make lots of money and everyone who has shit on it for having women in it can shut the hell up and eat a piece of road kill that's been sitting in the sun for hours and hours, okay? That's all for now. I'm going to go hang out with some babies #livingmybestlife. I hope you have a fantastic day. Be good to each other. xo 

1 Jul 2016

Happy Canada Day! + June Wrap Up

favourite people celebrating 2013 Pride

Happy Canada Day! I'll be celebrating the founding of country (lol not at all accurate) the Canadian Way by doing nooothinnnnng. We're not big celebrators, at least not the way Americans are with their potato salads and lawn chairs. We're more like "oh, the country was founded today? That's v chill" and then we just carry on with our normal lives. HOWEVER it's *air horn noises* Pride this weekend! And you know that means glitter and drag queens and day drinking and general carrying on. Hell yeah. Let the celebration of love and freedom begin! Here's a pride life hack for you: watch the parade on TV.  Do not let your body enter the sweaty, smelly space of literally one million other humans. Treat yourself to some couch time and air conditioning. You're welcome.

Also, June is over?

Let the July herald the goodness of summer 2016 (and like maybe no more celebrity deaths or devastating political upheavals or mass shootings, okay kewl thx byee!) As per month's end tradition, here are the most popular posts from June...

10 cheap or free things to do in Toronto this summer 

grown up midwife stuff and a red shoes update 

a graduation speech and the red shoes 

internet stuff for reading enjoyment

a life update 

may wrap up

Cheers! Until next time, xo